" i was alright for a while,

i can smile for a while

but when i saw you last night, you held my hand so tight,

when you stopped to say hello,

and though you wished me well, you couldn't tell, that i was crying over you "

-One of the songs i really like from Don Mclean

sorry. for what was and what could never be.

for the heart aches, and the trampled ego.

for all the bad memories, and the nightmares.

for a disillusioned version of love.

for the lies, and the painful words, and the equally painful acts.

for your time wasted with me, for me, and because of me.

for the scars that will never heal.

for the guarded existence brought about by futile battles with me.

for the cowardice, the angst, and revolution of youth

for making you fall for me, and me letting go just like that

i don't know if you all can ever forgive me, then forget

i am praying for it, and for your happiness, and for peace

and i am praying for a love that will drive all sadness away and make you believe in what you could never believe in when you were with me

I really have no inspiration for this work of mine except for the scattered memories i have of movies, and stories, and actual people, some of them, i know personally, going through their pain during the  time when their partner had an affair.  I wrote in the persona of the wounded mate, the one who was left behind because of somebody else. I also wrote this in the context of marriage, because, nobody would stick it up and still be there unless they were married, except for a handful of people, a very select few.

They may stay because of the memories, or because of the children, or because of any of a gazillion reasons that fate have strung together that have made it possible for them to have no other choice but to live it out, make it work, make it work.

This is a tribute, to all those brave souls, a few of them stupid, yes, but most of them, just ordinary people who know how to forgive, love selflessly, and never lose hope in a time when it seems there ain't any left. 

And when it's over, i'll take you calmly by the hand, sit down with you and let you cry.

i'll let you know i understand, and that things are alright, and that nothing's changed.

i'll talk to you like before, in those days gone by, when all was true

i'll comfort you, weep with you if you need me to,

i'll pray for you, and all that was, and all that should be, and are coming still, for us

and when your affair is over, you'll come back to me.

in the most inebriate moments, a flash of briliance occurs, and everything consequential follows.